We are only 2 months away from 2020! I really don’t know how that is possible, but it is! I always like to do a check in with myself in the last quarter of the year to see what I managed to accomplish and what I still need to tackle. This past year has been an adventure to say the least. My son is now 15 months old and he is keeping this household on its toes. We are slaves to his every need, and we love it. although there was a time I reallllly missed my sleep. Lucky for him, I mean, lucky for me, we are all sleeping through the night again.
Resolutions or goal setting is common way to start the new year! A fresh start always gives us hope, but how long after the new year have you forgotten about those goals? Statistics say 80% of new year’s resolutions fail by the second week of FEBRUARY… What?!?! Are we really that weak? Appears so.
We have every intention of doing the things we say, but actually doing them is a different story! Each year, same goals but no real outcome… Now, imagine for a moment what setting goals and failing does to you over time? Ouch! It’s a never-ending mental loop of regret and guilt which then becomes a nasty little subconscious program that tells us we are failures. We can’t even commit to xyz… Talk about serious self-fulfilling prophesy! Apparently by February, we already “threw in the towel,” so we might as well eat that cake, drink the wine, stay in bed longer, smoke that cancer stick, quit exercise, quit that new marketing course we started… or whatever it may be.
I personally never used to set resolutions and I’ll tell you why. I am a perfectionist (recovering) and the story I used to tell myself is that if I haven’t done any work to reach my goals throughout the year, why would I finally do it in January? Sounds reasonable actually, but It was really just my excuse for not committing to another “thing” that I’ll probably give up on when the shine has worn off on the initial result or desired outcome I was imagining.
Old me used to get excited, start something, get comfortable and then quit when I reached a certain point. Silly me, that is actually when I should put my head down and keep going. It should be a non-negotiable standard that I set for myself to finish any commitment I make, as long as the commitment aligns with my higher self, is realistic and it is not harmful in any way. For example. I can’t commit to a two-hour self-care morning routine with meditation, chanting, yoga, dancing, exercise, water that’s not too hot or too cold with two squeezes of lemon, 2397 supplements a coffee enema, sauna… you get the picture. that is unrealistic for my lifestyle and would take precious time away from my baby and husband. We all need self-care but it cannot and should not become MORE stressful than NO selfcare routine. Make sense?
So, what’s a perfectionist like me to do when the New Year rolls around?
Funny you ask. I have been practicing A LOT over the last couple years and this is the system I use and recommend. Set small, attainable goals. Smash them and then add more, slightly larger, attainable goals. Smash those and then rinse and repeat. It’s much better for the brain to DO something than to think about it over and over. Action is the solution to every problem. Here is a great tool to refer to. It is a commonly known method and it has worked well for this perfectionist / procrastinator (recovering).
S M A R T – goal setting
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Achievable
R – Relevant
T – Time-Bound
Specific:What EXACTLY do you want. Get into the tiniest details. The more specific, the more manageable it is to accomplish. And, WRITE IT DOWN!
Example, you want to fit in your size __ jeans by March 15th
You will not say, “lose weight” get clear. How much weight.
Measurable:How will you track your progress? Use concrete targets.
For example, your goal is to fit in your old jeans by March. You will come to 3 Pilates classes each week and walk 60 minutes 2x per week. You will pay for your classes so you don’t waste money, you will book in advance and show up on time, no excuses. I recommend that you log this on a calendar, a chart you make or on your phone with an app or in your notes.
Achievable:Goals must be attainable in the time frame you are giving yourself. Set daily, weekly and monthly targets and aim to hit them. This will help maintain your level of motivation you had when you started.
Don’t say you want to lose 40kg’s in 6 weeks. That is not realistic nor is it healthy and you are setting yourself up for failure.
DO say, “ I want to lose 4kg’s in 6 weeks and I am going to cut out sugar, gluten and dairy to help me achieve that goal.”
Relevant: your goal should be in line with your core values and priorities. What about your goal makes it important to you? Your goal is YOURS and should be relevant to you!
Something like this… think of it as you “WHY” statement. You want to lose wright because you want to be healthy and have an active, adventurist lifestyle. You want to be pain free, live a long life to spend time with family and friends and never need to rely on medication to keep your blood pressure down.
Time-Bound:Deadlines are important! If you leave your goal open ended, will you actually achieve it? Probably not. There is a saying “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.”Let’s not fall into that trap. Break it down, Monthly, Weekly, Daily, maybe even am/pm. Give it a realistic timeline. Be realistic but push yourself. Don’t leave it on the table too long otherwise I’ll be seeing you back here next year.
It’s all in the details, staying focused on the end result & accepting that there may be hiccups along the way. Be flexible. Some days may not go as planned, that is ok.
Remember, once you achieve your first goal, keep going. There is nothing stopping you from ticking everything off your list. This method is useful for all goals, no matter the size and it can be applied all year long, not just the first day of January.
Happy Goal Setting / Achieving!
