Ok, I’ll start by admitting 2020 hasn’t been all butterflies and rainbows for many people, BUT 2020 has been a HUGE year of growth for me.
Growth is painful but necessary. The more I uncover, the more I am faced with uncomfortable emotions that need to be processed. The more discomfort I allow to come up, the more healing occurs.
It’s a messy but beautiful process. Unlearning, releasing, reprogramming & relearning. A shedding of the “old” me in order to make space for the improved version of me.
I look back at some of my painful memories and wonder who that person was. Who is that girl that experienced such pain, shame, resentment and fear? I don’t know here anymore and I’m ok with that.
It’s bizarre to think I am the same human because I am nothing at all like I used to be. I probably wouldn’t recognize the old me if I met me on the street.
I am better. I am stronger. I am kinder. I am softer. I am lovable and loving. I am a light where there used to be a lot of darkness.
I am in a process of healing and 2020 has led me to many discoveries I never knew were buried. I’m so grateful for this year. Truly grateful. I don think I would have the same opportunity to go into the depths of my soul had we not been forced to slow down and reevaluate.
December is the final chapter and I’m dedicating this month to releasing alllll the shit I felt I needed to carry with me for 39 years. The shit that “protected” me and kept me “safe.” It’s time to say goodbye.
What I’m releasing in this final month of 2020:
Fear – of putting myself out into the world even though I have something very special to share.
Shame – of not being where I wanted to be by this time in my life.
Guilt – for not being “perfect” at everything I do.
Small minded thinking – time to share more of myself with my tribe.
Expectations – I fully surrender and trust that I have stepped into my purpose (purpose changes throughout our lifetime so don’t get hung up on having ONE purpose). The outcome is not up to me, I just have to show up and do my part.
Judgement – I have worked VERY hard to release judgement this year. I know not everyone knows what I know or sees life through the same lens as me and that is OK! It’s all perfect and we are all learning the lessons our soul has chosen.
If you’re wondering what this release process looks like, well that’s a much longer post and two weeks’ worth of content in my ALIGN program, launching in January. Stay tuned for more info on the launch and an opportunity to be one of three women who will earn a FREE space in the program.
To give you an idea, I have gone deep into my shadow self and inner child to discover the root of my pain, fear and perfectionism tendencies. I have learned what and why I default to certain negative behavioral patterns. Why I subconsciously create drama when my life is seemingly perfect. Why I always felt stuck even when I was moving forward. I uncover the deep-rooted pain that was passed down from my own parents that kept me from living the life I knew was waiting for me. I shed light on all the old programs that I carried and used simple but effective techniques to clear out and reprogram my subconscious.
Basically, I cut myself wide open with the intention of removing ALL the metaphorical DIS-ease from my energetic, emotional and physical being. Some of it seems woo but most of it is very practical and scientifically backed.
Now, the question I have for you is this, what are YOU wanting to release? What are you holding on to that you know is not in alignment with your highest self, but you don’t know how to release it?
Let me know. Nothing is impossible. No pain is too deep. No program is too old. We are healable and we are here for a divine purpose. Let’s wake you up to yours.
Sending lots of love
Xx
Crystal
